2012年3月20日星期二

every right to expect a handsome present from me

She was thinking of this very question, revolving the figures,as she sat in her wheeled chair with a table spread with cardsby her side. The Patience had somehow got into a muddle, and shedid not like to call for Susan to help her, as Susan seemed to bebusy with Arthur.   "She's every right to expect a handsome present from me, of course,"she thought, looking vaguely at the leopard on its hind legs,"and I've no doubt she does! Money goes a long way with every one.   The young are very selfish. If I were to die, nobody would miss mebut Dakyns, and she'll be consoled by the will! However, I've gotno reason to complain. . . . I can still enjoy myself. I'm nota burden to any-one. . . . I like a great many things a good deal,in spite of my legs."Being slightly depressed, however, she went on to think of the onlypeople she had known who had not seemed to her at all selfishor fond of money, who had seemed to her somehow rather finer thanthe general run; people she willingly acknowledged, who were finerthan she was. There were only two of them. One was her brother,who had been drowned before her eyes, the other was a girl,her greatest friend, who had died in giving birth to her first child.   These things had happened some fifty years ago.   "They ought not to have died," she thought. "However, they did--and we selfish old creatures go on." The tears came to her eyes;she felt a genuine regret for them, a kind of respect for their youthand beauty, and a kind of shame for herself; but the tears did not fall;and she opened one of those innumerable novels which she usedto pronounce good or bad, or pretty middling, or really wonderful.   "I can't think how people come to imagine such things," she would say,taking off her spectacles and looking up with the old faded eyes,that were becoming ringed with white.   Just behind the stuffed leopard Mr. Elliot was playing chess withMr. Pepper. He was being defeated, naturally, for Mr. Pepper scarcelytook his eyes off the board, and Mr. Elliot kept leaning back in hischair and throwing out remarks to a gentleman who had only arrivedthe night before, a tall handsome man, with a head resembling the headof an intellectual ram. After a few remarks of a general naturehad passed, they were discovering that they knew some of the same people,as indeed had been obvious from their appearance directly they saw each other.

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